3 Things Trans Women Can Do to Jump-start Transition, Even if Not Out!


FEAR is what I see on daily basis as a gender therapist.

Fear of coming out. Fear expressing who you are. Fear of being scrutinized.

Common fears told:

“I am afraid I will lose my job if I come out”

or “my family will disown me if they find out”  

Even such fears as “I’ll be cut off my inheritance,” or “my legacy will be jeopardized,” have been uttered in my office. 

These fears share a common theme: They prevent you from moving forward with your transition.

Similar to a T-blocker, FEAR acts as a courage blocker, inhibiting you from moving forward. 

Are you struggling with FEAR?

Thinking you have no options? Waiting for your family to become trans friendly? Or for your grandma who holds the key to your inheritance to drop dead?

Trust me! There are things you can do to start transition while not being out! 

What are you waiting for?  Unless you are hairless (lucky you), you better get started working on your facial hair and maybe even body hair. 

Start looking into electrolysis (my preference) or laser hair removal in your area.  Did you know LA Care covers electrolysis/laser and so does Kaiser! (For LA Care, you will need a letter from a therapist, contact me for a free eval letter). 

Don’t have insurance?  There are many affordable trans friendly locations listed on my local resource list.  Or better yet, look into Groupon for a great deal! 

You can start this process today! Nobody will raise an eyebrow or question your new smooth face because many people go hairless!

What does your voice sound like?  Concerned it is too masculine and feeling paranoid you won’t pass? 

While still in the closet, it’s a great idea to start voice therapy to practice your true feminine voice in private.  This may take anywhere from 6 months to a year or more, depending on your voice. 

I highly recommend Eryn, who is fantastic with tons of experience working with trans people or Anna who herself is a trans woman and has hands on experience.

Feeling dysphoric?  Can’t concentrate at work?  Feeling anxious or depressed because of not transitioning? 

Consider HRT!  No, I am not kidding. 

Do consider starting HRT while in the closet.  You can start on a low dose without having drastic results that will give you away. 

Many trans women are on HRT and are still not out! Nor do they present in their preferred gender. 

HRT will help you feel less dysphoric, help you focus, relieve anxiety, and depression. You will also feel empowered to have started.

Fearing having gender dysphoria disclosed by using work insurance?

Here is a tip! Local to LA, consider St. Jon’s Transgender Clinic. As of today, they have an amazing out of pocket package that costs $120 for 3 months of HRT, doctor visit, and lab works.