3 Major Mistakes Trans Women Make When Transitioning.
If you are going through gender transition, then you know it comes with many challenges. And not knowing how to navigate transition, is certainly one of them.
Often, you call these challenges mistakes. Something you ought to have known or foreseen.
This so called “mistakes” end up costing you time. Resulting in prolonged transition timeline and continuous struggle with gender dysphoria.
I am here to spare you the 3 most common mistakes I see trans women make.
These 3 mistakes will save you:
time
agony
frustration
and hopefully peace of mind
And if you think not coming out sooner is one of them, you are wrong. Although not coming out sooner is one of the biggest regrets trans women express, it is not a mistake.
Why? Because coming out is a deeply personal process. And everyone has a different timeline that cannot, and should not be judged.
When I say mistakes, I refer to things that could have been easily avoided, if the knowledge was provided beforehand.
#1 DELAYING HAIR REMOVAL PROCESS
“I wish I started hair removal sooner.” This is one of the biggest mistakes and I am not just talking about facial hair. Although, if you do plan on transition, even if you are not out, you should start investing in hair removal pronto!
I am talking about hair removal in genital region. If you are planning on having vaginoplasty, starting hair removal sooner is imperative.
Why? Various reasons. For starters, while some doctors claim to scrape or burn off genital hair, nobody knows for sure if it works long term.
What we do know, is that electrolysis is the best route to go. For more reading visit: Hair Removal For Vaginoplasty Surgery | What Works?
What we also know, is that electrolysis can take up to a year to fully ensure no hair re-growth!
I have witnessed many trans women get excited about their surgical date only to find out they needed to get their hair removed. Surgeries delayed. Hopes put on hold. Dysphoria prolonged.
If you are certain of getting vaginoplasty at some point, start early.
#2 NOT STARTING VOICE THERAPY SOONER
“I wish I started voice therapy at the beginning.” This mistake often occurs primarily due to two reasons.
First reason, assuming it will take you faster to feminize your voice once you start.
Sadly, voice therapy often takes time. For some people, it can take a long time. I am talking about 6 month to a year of dedicated daily work. For more info, visit 5 Myths on Voice Therapy Debunked by a Voice Specialist!
Second reason, believing voice feminization surgery will solve your problem. While voice feminization may help elevate vocal pitch, there is limited evidence to their overall effectiveness at raising the fundamental frequency. In some cases, people end up with hoarse, whisper voice or have a permanent issue due to complications.
Even if you are not out, starting voice therapy is important. The great thing is that you can privately practice your voice feminization when alone.
Do start early so that you can capitalize when you need your voice the most. If passibility is your goal, staring early is a must.
#3 BELIEVING YOUR SURGEON WILL BE AVAILABLE
“I wish I didn’t assume my surgeon would be available for surgery within few weeks.” This is a major mistake. And one I see many make today.
With more and more insurance companies covering gender surgeries, doctors are busy meeting demands of the many.
And trust me, there are many, many transpeople seeking surgeries.
Just to give you an idea, I offer free surgical evaluations to gender community (CA residents only, sorry licensure rules). In four years since I have offered this service, I have written approximately 300+ letters. And that’s just me alone.
As a result of many people seeking surgeries, skilled trans knowledgeable doctors are booked. Booked in advance! I am talking about one to two years from now.
While there are many newbie doctors on the scene, if you want to go to a skilled surgeon, expect a delay.
This goes not only for doctors specializing in vaginoplasty, but those who specialize in breast augmentation, body feminization contouring, and facial feminization surgery.
Sadly, I have seen plenty hopes crushed when they find out they wont be able to see their preferred surgeon for a year or two.
Start consulting and planning early. In the very least, keep this potential setback within your expectations to avoid experiencing major disappointment.
As you can see, these 3 things can be easily avoided. And if you feel you can’t afford voice therapy or hair removal, starting early and spreading over time can really help.
If you need help to get started with finding reserves I recommend my comprehensive resource page to search for doctors, voice therapists, and local hair removal services to jump start your transition.
You may also find the following helpful:
The Single Biggest Reason Why You Keep Questioning if You are Transgender!
5 Most Common Postoperative Issues You Wish You Knew About Following Vaginoplasty!