The Hidden Cost of Staying Hidden with Your Partner & Family!
Dr. Z addresses those in relationships, maybe with kids, in marriages or long-term partnerships, experiencing gender dysphoria, and having the classic relationship narrative holding you back: "If I transition, that means I'm being selfish—I'm being selfish toward my family and my kids."
Dr. Z doesn't know when this narrative started to perpetuate, but she's here to twist it a little bit and offer you two very big points to consider: If you don't actually step into your authentic self, here's two things that in her opinion you're doing that ends up being very selfish—not only towards yourself but toward your family and kids. She's going to flip it around.
It's always easy to say if you transition you're being selfish and not considering your partner and kids. But a lot of times, as a psychologist, Dr. Z sees people use it as a shield to protect themselves from doing anything about gender dysphoria. A lot of times, she sees people use it as a way to self-sabotage and avoid taking little steps—because it's easier not to confront yourself if you've sold yourself on a narrative that taking little steps means you're being selfish toward family and kids. If you're not taking steps, you sacrifice yourself to family and kids—and isn't that a noble thing?
Dr. Z is going to argue it is NOT a noble thing, and you're not sacrificing anything. You are actually being very selfish in her opinion—not only toward yourself by not living your life to the fullest, but towards your family and kids.
Watch this video as Dr. Z addresses how you're being selfish to your partner (they deserve someone truthful about core self identity, living with dysphoria means you're not the same person as if dysphoria-free—you're living under stress/strain/tension/anxiety/dread that breeds anger issues and your partner may be the target), how dissociating during intimacy creates distance (partner senses disconnect and creates assumptions—one partner thought for 10 years their spouse was having an affair when it was just dysphoria), and how you're being selfish to your kids (dysphoria occupies tremendous portion of your mind like a fan running 24/7, preventing you from being fully emotionally attuned and present—you can't build meaningful connections when on autopilot).
