The Hidden Toll of Masking Your Identity!

Dr. Z discusses the phenomenon known as masking your identity and how incredibly prevalent it is among LGBTQ individuals—what it is, why people mask, and how over time it can actually become detrimental to you.

Why do people mask their identity? Numerous reasons: trauma response, safety issues, privacy issues, to feel more socially accepted, and to have social inclusion. People also mask when they feel shame or guilt about who they are, or are afraid of being who they are. Masking can come in multiple forms—taking on body language, a particular way of expressing yourself, modifying voice patterns, taking on narratives that don't belong to you, gestures, and the overall way you express yourself in the world.

Masking is incredibly prevalent among individuals on the autism spectrum and very prevalent among LGBTQ individuals. It's also prevalent for children of parents struggling with alcoholism (you put on a mask and pretend to be something other so you don't aggravate the parent). Masking is a defense mechanism—a way to protect ourselves. We're protecting ourselves by masking because we're afraid. The denominator of masking is often fear.

Watch this video as Dr. Z addresses how people struggling with gender dysphoria mask and overcompensate with assigned gender characteristics, how masking happens in reverse for trans individuals (fabricating narratives of menstruation, childbirth, experiences they haven't had to be perceived as cis women), why masking initially becomes a safety coping mechanism and transition object, and why over time the lines become blurred making it hard to separate yourself from the mask.