TIPS on When & How to Present to Your Family Members. — DR Z PHD

This video is especially for you if you feel an internal need for validation from family members—if you want to be seen and validated by them as your authentic gender.

The pattern that backfires: You come out to family. There's a gathering (Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday). You want to show up presenting more as your authentic self. But you're not at least halfway confident in your feminine power yet. Performance anxiety kicks in. Your internal critic (actually internal transphobia) starts the catastrophizing script: "What if they think I don't look like a woman? What if they say who am I kidding? What if they make fun of me, feel disgusted, don't accept me?"

Here's the critical truth: Whatever you think they're thinking is all in your head. You're planting what they'll think. It's your own toxic stuff about yourself coming up—and instead of facing it, you're terrified your family will think it.

What happens when you push the envelope too soon: Your family doesn't even have to say anything. They look at you (maybe not even thinking about you), and you immediately assign everything you've been thinking to their look: "Aha, I knew it. They're laughing inside their head."Self-fulfilling prophecy. This happens because you're not rooted in your power.

In this video, Dr. Z addresses:

Why you want to push the envelope first with people who support you (friends, chosen family)? And how capitalizing on safe experiences compounds into confidence.