Trans Women: Navigating Self-Love and Self-Hate
Dr. Z addresses a phenomenon trans women experience frequently: oscillating between one moment loving yourself and your womanhood, owning it completely, and then suddenly, almost overnight, switching to anger. Anger at yourself, anger that you're trans, anger that you have to take hormones or go through transition to feel part of the world.
This oscillation happens throughout gender transition but is most prevalent during the mid-point—when you're in between genders, no longer fully seen as male but not yet fully seen as female. It also happens post-transition.
The back-and-forth creates anxiety, can increase gender dysphoria, and generates profound self-doubt: Am I making the right choice? If I go from loving to hating myself, am I really a woman? Should I transition?
Where does this come from?
Decades of accumulated shame, guilt, and self-loathing from carrying your authentic feminine identity in secrecy. The world is constantly telling you that you shouldn't exist—that you're mentally ill, deviant, perverted. Cis women who claim your existence robs them of their "birthright." Even trans spaces with gatekeeping rules: not on hormones? Still have a penis? Too much facial hair? You don't belong.
In this video, Dr. Z addresses:
The dual nature of the hatred (internalized shame you can detox versus external world messages you can't control). Why learning to carry your "umbrella" (self-care tools, protective mindset) matters. How to recognize when oscillation is showing you what still needs cleaning up inside, versus external bombardment you need boundaries against.
