What if You Don't Connect to LGBTQ Community?
Do you really need to belong or be part of LGBTQ community? Dr. Z shares her personal opinion.
Lately a number of you have reached out asking: "I went to pride parade but I don't really feel like I connect to LGBTQ community, I don't resonate. I went to support group with other LGBTQ individuals and I didn't feel like I was clicking or connecting. Does this make me any less trans? Any less supportive? Does it make me transphobic?"
Dr. Z's personal opinion: If you don't feel connected or resonating with any type of community, then perhaps that community is not for you. This idea that because you identify as transgender you automatically need to belong and be part of LGBTQ community, part of pride parade, part of this and that—Dr. Z doesn't aspire to that, doesn't think it's very true, and doesn't think it's healthy because then you'll resent your community if you feel forced to be there.
Dr. Z has a lot of people she works with who don't feel they resonate with transgender communities or different subgroups of transgender community. The transgender community is very very broad: people who identify as transbinary (some have personal beliefs that unless you're going through whole physical transition you're not really transgender), subgroup who identify as non-binary (they have their own little subgroups), genderqueers, and a whole bunch of individuals under transgender umbrella with different subgroups, different belief systems, different political views (not every transgender or gender diverse individual is liberal—some are conservative, some aren't affiliated with anybody).
Watch to find out why finding community you really connect with is seldom possible and often quite difficult (you go to community, find some people you resonate with, become friends with those individuals), why there's no pressure (same way there's no pressure to carry transgender flag and constantly advocate for transgender rights—advocacy is individual choice, very personal, not easy—some people who transition decide not to be open about being transgender at all, very personal decision nobody should judge), why transition is very personal (doesn't belong to groups, only belongs to you, doesn't belong to anybody else), and why you should find other people you connect to (maybe connecting through different bridge of connectivity—things you're passionate about, books, movies, activities you like to do—find group of people you click with on emotional feeling level, don't worry about fitting in particular community group).
