Why You Feel Anxiety Living Stealth After Transition!
Living stealth is a valid choice—but Dr. Z explains why some people experience unexpected anxiety after achieving congruency.
Living stealth means passing within social constraints of a particular gender type without disclosing transgender history. You thought life would be easier post-transition, but instead it's gotten harder. Why does anxiety creep up when you've achieved the congruency you wanted?
The primary reason: you're internally struggling to accept your transgender identity. There's a difference between deciding not to disclose your history and actually accepting you have transgender history. You can go through the entire transition process—medical procedures, surgeries, coming out, dealing with stigma—without actually assimilating what's happening on a psychological plane.
When you negate your biological aspects, tell yourself you were never assigned male/female at birth, and lack inner acceptance while living stealth, your subconscious hasn't achieved congruency. This creates tension that manifests as anxiety. You become hypervigilant in groups of cis people, subconsciously comparing yourself, fearing they'll find out—because we fear people discovering parts of ourselves we haven't accepted.
Watch to find out why physical congruency is different from psychological congruency, why going through transition is different from integrating it internally, and why transition is traumatic regardless of circumstances.
