Why You Still Feel Like an Imposter 5 Years Into Transition | For Trans Women

You've been living as a woman for five years—maybe longer. You changed your name legally, you've been on estrogen for years, you've had surgery. Everyone in your life uses she/her pronouns. By all external measures, your transition is complete. But internally, you still feel like you're faking it. You look at cisgender women and think they're "real women" while you're just pretending. You wait for someone to expose you, call you out, point out that you're not actually a woman.

After 20 years specializing in trans women, I can tell you: imposter syndrome doesn't magically disappear when you transition. For many trans women, it persists for years, sometimes decades, after transition is externally "complete." In this video, I break down the six reasons you still feel like an imposter five years into transition: comparing your internal messiness to other women's external polish, decades of internalized "trans women aren't real women" messaging, thinking you're disqualified because you didn't have girl socialization, hypervigilance about every way you don't pass perfectly, waiting for a magical moment of certainty that isn't coming, and focusing on what you're not instead of who you are.

Watch this video to understand why imposter syndrome persists—and what actually helps dismantle it so you can stop questioning your validity and start living as yourself.