Feel Like You are Failing Your Gender Transition?
Dr. Z addresses the common feeling of failing at gender transition—whether social, medical, or surgical. This feeling hits especially when starting out, and people are being incredibly unfair to themselves.
The biggest reason you feel like you're failing: you're not supposed to know what you're doing. Especially without a gender therapist, you won't know which steps to take first. Figuring out how to express your gender and show up in the world is hard—it's stepping into completely new territory. Nobody wakes up knowing how to do perfect eyeliner or having a sense of style. Trans women beat themselves up over makeup, hairstyles, and clothing. Trans men and nonbinary folks struggle too. Learning takes time—you're going to screw up and mess up, and that's supposed to happen.
Three essential tips: Set realistic ideals grounded in your actual circumstances (location, safety, resources, access to care, finances). Don't compare yourself to others—your biggest competition is you, not someone on the internet with filters and different resources. Measure your success backwards from where you started, not forward to where you need to go.
Watch to find out why you're not failing—you're just lost, confused, learning in the dark.
