Gender Envy, Dysphoria, and Trans Identity.
Dr. Z explains gender envy—a longing or desire for certain gender advantages you see in someone else. Unlike jealousy (judgmental, spiteful), envy is about desiring something versus resenting the person who has it. Psychologically, we idealize things in others because they reflect what we want in ourselves or are capable of.
For those who know they're trans, gender envy makes sense—you're seeing in another person the gender identity you aspire to embody. But if you're still questioning, experiencing gender envy doesn't immediately mean you're transgender. More exploration is needed. What you envy might not be literal—perhaps you envy their freedom, their ability to authentically embody themselves, how they show up in the world.
Gender envy can be devastating in early transition—it's like being hungry while someone dangles a carrot in front of you. You see everything you want that you haven't gotten yet, creating a gap that increases dysphoria and brings up doubt, insecurity, fear. Some use it as motivation to figure out their plan.
Watch to find out how to use gender envy productively without setting yourself up for disappointment.
