Confront Small Fearful Steps First!
Don't wait until you build a castle—Dr. Z explains why you should share your little transition steps early using the Lego metaphor.
This video is for all gender expressions and identities—people just starting transition or mid-transition who are doing things in hiding because you're afraid. You want to share something about your authentic gender with people around you (pronouns, clothing, voice, gender expression) but you're afraid—especially around family, partners, close friends. There's invested time, so there's more at stake.
You tell yourself: "I'm not ready yet, not confident yet. If I do this, they'll bring me down, say something negative, judge me." So you wait—"I'll do it in a month when I feel more confident, when I've done it enough myself that I feel so good they can't destroy my confidence."
Dr. Z's Lego metaphor: Your transition steps are Legos you're building on the floor. Each Lego represents a step—trying pronouns, contacting therapist, doing research. You keep them close, not sharing with loved ones because you're afraid they'll walk in and kick through your Legos, destroying what you built.
Dr. Z says: Let them do that. Share what you want from the start so you can experience your Legos crumbling down and learn to rebuild. Every time you rebuild, you trust your capacity more.
Watch to find out why this is way better than building a whole castle in secrecy then sharing it and risking them demolishing the entire castle (that would hurt so much more and really impact your confidence), and why sharing early helps you learn who's on your side and how to find other support systems.
