Will My Partner Stay If I Transition? 5 Patterns Explained by Dr. Z

One of the first questions people in a relationship, in a partnership, in a marriage ask Dr. Z when they see her is this: Do you think my partner will stay if I take any steps toward gender transition or if I take any steps toward my authentic gender? She gets why you're asking. Your partner is probably the most important relationship in your life. You built a life together. You have history, maybe kids, maybe a home, definitely share dreams about the future. And now you're about to tell them something that could change everything.

So you want to know—what are the odds? What predicts whether a partner stays or leaves? Is there anything you can do to increase the chances of staying?

Over the past 20 years, Dr. Z has worked with many couples navigating one partner's gender transition. She's observed these relationships over time, sometimes years after the initial disclosure, and she's noticed patterns in which partnerships survive and which ones don't. Today she wants to share what she's observed—not advice, not guarantees, just the five most common patterns. Because the factors that determine whether your partner stays or leaves are more specific and sometimes more surprising than you might think.

Watch this video as Dr. Z addresses the five most common patterns that become determining factors in whether partners stay or leave.