Afraid to Transition Due to Fear of How it Will Affect Your Kids?

Dr. Z addresses a critical question for those who know they want to go through medical and surgical transition, struggle with dysphoria, know their identity, but have young children at home and are holding themselves back—telling themselves that transition will negatively affect, traumatize, or make life difficult for their kids. This also applies when a partner tells you transition will harm the children.

Dr. Z's firsthand observation from working with tremendous amounts of couples with young kids (ages four through young adults) across different demographics: "I have yet to see young kids who as a result of one parent going through gender transition have gotten worse." What usually affects children most is not the transition itself but rather: a partner saying negative things about the other parent, a partner not being on board with pronouns and names causing confusion, or a trans person not being present in parenting.

Kids are like sponges—incredibly adaptable. What they need is love, understanding, space, and parents who listen and spend time with them. They're not looking for particular gender-centric parents. What happens when living with dysphoria: you're not fully present with kids, appearing withdrawn and distant—the last thing kids need.

Watch to understand why authentic parenting matters more than perceived risks.