Can Living a Double Life as a Way of Coping with Dysphoria Last?
Dr. Z answers whether it's possible to lead a double life as a way of coping with gender dysphoria—especially long-term. For those struggling with gender dysphoria, especially when realizing they have dysphoria in the midst of already having long-term relationships, children, and families, the thought often enters their headspace: can I do something on the side without my partner knowing to alleviate distress, ease the pain of dysphoria, and how sustainable is it?
Living a double life in this context means having part of your life where you're presenting and navigating in your gender assigned at birth, and having some element where you're also presenting and navigating aspects or moments of your day-to-day in your authentic gender.
This falls into two segments: intimate aspect (partnered with someone who doesn't have any awareness or knowledge of your struggles with gender dysphoria), and the second scenario for individuals without intimate lives (falls more in domains of careers, distant family relationships, friendships, and social life at large).
The critical issue: when you start introducing ways of getting in touch with your authentic self (which temporarily alleviates distress), dysphoria actually starts getting even bigger because you've introduced an avenue of possibility. Before it was just dysphoria—now there's dysphoria AND something that makes you feel better.
Watch to understand psychological hazards and why maintaining the split long-term is very challenging.
