"I Can't be Trans Because I Don't Hate My Genitals!"
Dr. Z addresses a statement she still hears in private practice: "I can't possibly be trans because I don't hate my genitals." Even though people experience gender dysphoria and incongruence with their gender assigned at birth, they tell themselves they can't be transgender because they're not really hating their genitals. This statement comes from trans feminine identified individuals, trans masculine folks, and non-binary people.
This likely goes back to when it was really difficult to get gender-affirming care, and trans folks had to stick to a very particular narrative to even get in the door: "I feel trapped in a body, I have strong hate toward my genitals, sometimes I think about mutilating or cutting those parts off." Without such a drastic narrative, people couldn't get the care they needed.
The reality: tremendous amounts of individuals—probably more than half in Dr. Z's private practice—do not hate their genitals. What Dr. Z sees: individuals who don't feel congruent with their genitals, don't feel comfortable, don't feel like their genitals represent their gender identity, but nonetheless don't hate them. Many feel neutral—they don't hate it, don't love it, feel very detached and disconnected.
Watch to understand why not hating your genitals is in no way a criterion for identifying as transgender.
