Why You Continue to Self-Loath and Hate Yourself as Trans!
Dr. Z tackles why 80% of trans people experience self-loathing, self-hatred, low self-worth, and low self-esteem. As a psychologist, her job is to formulate an understanding of why you feel this way to help you gain perspective and break the pattern.
The cycle starts in childhood: Many experienced gender dysphoria as children trying to express themselves. One look of disgust, one phrase from parents ("that's disgusting," "stop that," "what's wrong with you")—even unintentionally—starts shame and guilt. As kids trying to please parents without a strong sense of self, you hid this part of your identity. The pattern: "If I please my parents, stay out of trouble, they'll love me and love this part I tried to express." The cycle of self-pleasing others to feel loved and avoid abandonment begins early.
This manifests in adulthood: you please partners, take on responsibilities, and struggle owning your gender identity because you've been told it's shameful. Afraid that acknowledging it means losing love and being abandoned. Years of shuffling this part down, telling yourself "it's wrong, inappropriate, I'm a freak, I shouldn't exist"—accumulating self-hatred that drops your confidence and self-worth.
Watch to find out how to break the cycle through healthy selfishness.
