Why You Feel Guilt as Transgender Toward Your Parents & Family
You feel tremendous guilt when family rejects you for transitioning—Dr. Z explains where that guilt comes from and why you shouldn't carry it.
Your family sets ultimatums: you can't come to holidays if you present as yourself, they'll disown you, they've already cut you out. You feel torn apart, guilty, terrible—even though you're just an adult taking care of your health. Here's where the guilt comes from: the societal myth that "family is thicker than blood, family sticks together no matter what." This myth is perpetuated in literature, media, films showing dysfunctional families being told "stick together no matter what happens."
The reality? Dr. Z has never seen so much family abandonment as with people who transition. Strangers embrace you while families disown you. Some families are abusive, toxic, neglectful—and we're supposed to stick around for this myth? Their comfort level about transgender people should not come at the expense of your health. You have the right to set boundaries, move away, change phone numbers, and create your own family.
Watch to find out why real family says "I don't get it, but I love you and I'm here for you," why you shouldn't carry guilt from a utopian concept that doesn't exist for many people, and how to play the cards you've been dealt without playing from guilt.
