Gender Therapist 2022 | Why Being Ambivalent is Not Good For You or Others!
You're ambivalent—Dr. Z explains why this is sabotaging your transition and communicating uncertainty to everyone around you.
You came out to family, friends, loved ones, and partners but you're not doing anything about your gender yet. You want to transition but you're telling yourself "I'm gonna give it time for my spouse to catch up, time for my parents to adapt, time for my friends to adapt." You're not really doing it because you're giving them time to adapt—you're doing it because you're scared to move forward. Underneath ambivalence is fear.
Here's what you need to know: When you're ambivalent and not making decisions to move forward, you're communicating to everyone that you're not certain, that you're not sure transition is for you. This is why families constantly poke at you saying "maybe you need more therapy, maybe you need more time to figure out your gender identity." Partners say "maybe you just need to express yourself differently, maybe you don't need transition."
Watch to find out how taking small actions removes ambivalence and communicates "I know who I am and I'm taking control," why people around you also have their own ambivalence that needs clarification, and why changing at work without coming out creates uncomfortable rumors.
