Gender Therapist Talk 2022 | Stop Waiting for Fear to Go Away!

Fear won't go away—Dr. Z explains why you need to stop waiting to feel fearless and move forward anyway.

The fear is overwhelming: afraid to start hormones, go to surgical consultations, change your name, use preferred pronouns. Here's what you need to hear: Fear is not going to go away. You can't sit and wait for a day when you wake up fearless—it's not going to happen. Gender transition is embedded in fear. It's scary to modify your body, scary what the outcome will be, scary how others will react, scary how the world will react.

It's not about waking up feeling fearless. It's about recognizing there's fear and moving forward in spite of it. That's courage—war veterans know fear is always present, courage is moving forward anyway. Think of fear as a roommate—noisy, complaining, always bitching. Once you transition, that roommate moves out. But if you don't do anything, fear becomes a permanent resident.

The best antidote to fear is action. What's underneath fear? "Am I going to be able to handle this?" Yes—you handled life up to this point, you're parenting kids, holding jobs, paying rent, meeting responsibilities.

Watch to find out why 85-90% of comments say the same thing: "People left me, I lost my job, but I'm so much happier and healthier," and why you need to stop waiting for motivation that will never come.

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