Some of you have a clear knowing of what surgery you want. And thats great. While others are more uncertain. The uncertainty primarily stems from not knowing whether you want permanence of changes especially if you tend to be comfortable to oscillate between gender spectrums. As a result, making a decision when and what surgery to have is a challenge. In this video I share a few tips that can aid you in your decision process.

It is so common to engage in risk and benefit analysis. As humans, we are especially risk averse and tend to find ways to avoid it. And that’s exactly what you do when you engage in bargaining with yourself. What if my partner will leave me? What if my job will end? Will I ever pass? And on and on you go within your head space as you over analyze your situation. Watch as I discuss with you risks and benefits of over analyzing.

“What if I transition and I’ll be UGLY?!” Ouch. I hear this one all the time. From all types of people, genders, ages, and backgrounds. If I were to pin it, I’d say this is one of the biggest fears that holds you back from starting transition and living your life. Watch as I discuss why you feel this way and share a nuanced approach you can adapt to confront this challenge.

When changes happen quickly it is exciting and even euphoric as you experience them. But if the changes happen slowly or not at all, it feels very self defeating. As if there is something wrong with you. Or your body. Or maybe you start asking yourself if you are in fact transgender since the changes are not happening fast enough?

So here is a conundrum! You think and hope, transition will make you feel more in touch with yourself and more confident. But what happens when it doesn’t? What happens when you still struggle with confidence post transition?

It is common to experience resistance to your gender identity. It will even present in various different forms. But if this is my gender identity, my authentic self, why do I than resist it so much?

As you start hormones, it is natural to anticipate to feel better. Ideally, you should feel better. Affirmed. More congruent. But what happens if you don’t?

Transition process is filled with paper work as you run around trying to obtain “permission” letters to get affirming surgeries necessary for your well being. It can be dehumanizing and incredibly disempowering to sit in front of a mental health professional and to validate your sense of identity!

To this day I am surprised people still ask whether they are transgender if they decided not to pursue medical or surgical transition. As if without the transition, their sense of identity will vanish! It is important to remember that while many decide to transition, many do not! And the reasons are ample. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

Have you found yourself wanting to start transition only to find yourself avoiding it? Or throwing yourself into work when you should be getting ready to come out to family and friends? These behaviors and others, are common ways you tend to self-sabotage making progress in your life. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

This great question was asked by a viewer in comment section. What happens when people ask you how exactly can you know your gender beyond general stereotypes? Often leading some feeling confused and uncertain about their identity. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

Have you ever caught yourself reverting to “old” ways of behaving, speaking, walking, or even thinking? This phenomenon happens often and tends to occur in mid or post transition. It is called learned programming and can make you feel doubts and insecurity.

If you desire to undergo gender transition, it can be difficult to know how to set goals. Especially when the end point seems impossible to achieve. Watch as I discuss ways you can set transition goals and how to keep your focus on upward trajectory.

It is challenging to come out to your partner. To anticipate their reaction and response. It is even more challenging when your partner puts forward and ultimatum! Watch as I discuss the truth behind ultimatums.

It is common to anticipate to feel a sense of relief after coming out to your partner. Hoping that you can now begin your transition with much needed support. Only to find yourself feel worse vs better. Watch as I discuss why this may happen.

When you are going through transition, it is common to avoid taking the steps you fear. Even small, tiny, steps. Often waiting for confidence to increase before you feel comfortable taking steps you need to. And while it is OK to wait until you feel confident, there is another way you may want to consider when thinking about small fearful steps.

Variety of symptoms will spring to the surface when you struggle with Gender Dysphoria. Symptoms that may cluster together to appear to be another diagnosis. While sometimes another diagnosis is present, oftentimes there is a mis diagnosis of clustered symptoms. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

When you start coming out and expressing who you truly are toward others, you get varied responses. One of the responses often can come in a form of a push back from family and loved ones. Leaving you feeling as if your gender identity is an imposition on them.

As shared in the previous video, dissociation is a common defense mechanism in coping with Gender Dysphoria. While at first adaptive, it quickly becomes maladaptive and starts to interfere with your life. And many of you are hoping you will stop dissociating once you complete your transition. Watch as I discuss why this happens in this video.

As people, we employ a wide range of defense mechanisms in order to help us cope with painful, stressful, and traumatic events in our lives. And when one is struggling with Gender Dysphoria, the defense mechanisms become more dominant throughout the day. Dissociation, is one such defense mechanism and is very common among transgender people struggling with dysphoria.