Tension and fears are common pair present in gender transition. Oftentimes making it challenging for you to take first steps forward. It is also common to want to avoid tension and further prolonging your potential of making a progress. But what if the trick is actually to move toward tension and fear?

Imposter feelings are common when it comes to gender transition. Often, they may bring up feelings of unease or discomfort especially when you find yourself in new situations. This is often due to what’s known as “the zone of comfort and discomfort.” Watch as I explain this more in detail.

Acceptance may sound an easy thing to accomplish and yet it continuous to be a confusing and elusive concept. In transgender community, we often speak of acceptance of your trans identity but what exactly does it really mean to accept who you are? And just how important acceptance is?

There is a period in gender transition when you feel like stuck in purgatory. A period of fear, discomfort, and unease. Being in that pocket of time can be very stressful and frustrating. Here are some tips on how to manage that time period.

How many of you are pushing against your transition? Maybe you are pushing against starting or maybe your push is against changes you do or do now want. Or perhaps your push is all about ending and starting new relationships. But what if “pushing” is just the wrong thing to do?

Some of you have a clear knowing of what surgery you want. And thats great. While others are more uncertain. The uncertainty primarily stems from not knowing whether you want permanence of changes especially if you tend to be comfortable to oscillate between gender spectrums. As a result, making a decision when and what surgery to have is a challenge. In this video I share a few tips that can aid you in your decision process.

It is so common to engage in risk and benefit analysis. As humans, we are especially risk averse and tend to find ways to avoid it. And that’s exactly what you do when you engage in bargaining with yourself. What if my partner will leave me? What if my job will end? Will I ever pass? And on and on you go within your head space as you over analyze your situation. Watch as I discuss with you risks and benefits of over analyzing.

“What if I transition and I’ll be UGLY?!” Ouch. I hear this one all the time. From all types of people, genders, ages, and backgrounds. If I were to pin it, I’d say this is one of the biggest fears that holds you back from starting transition and living your life. Watch as I discuss why you feel this way and share a nuanced approach you can adapt to confront this challenge.

When changes happen quickly it is exciting and even euphoric as you experience them. But if the changes happen slowly or not at all, it feels very self defeating. As if there is something wrong with you. Or your body. Or maybe you start asking yourself if you are in fact transgender since the changes are not happening fast enough?

So here is a conundrum! You think and hope, transition will make you feel more in touch with yourself and more confident. But what happens when it doesn’t? What happens when you still struggle with confidence post transition?

It is common to experience resistance to your gender identity. It will even present in various different forms. But if this is my gender identity, my authentic self, why do I than resist it so much?

As you start hormones, it is natural to anticipate to feel better. Ideally, you should feel better. Affirmed. More congruent. But what happens if you don’t?

Transition process is filled with paper work as you run around trying to obtain “permission” letters to get affirming surgeries necessary for your well being. It can be dehumanizing and incredibly disempowering to sit in front of a mental health professional and to validate your sense of identity!

To this day I am surprised people still ask whether they are transgender if they decided not to pursue medical or surgical transition. As if without the transition, their sense of identity will vanish! It is important to remember that while many decide to transition, many do not! And the reasons are ample. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

Have you found yourself wanting to start transition only to find yourself avoiding it? Or throwing yourself into work when you should be getting ready to come out to family and friends? These behaviors and others, are common ways you tend to self-sabotage making progress in your life. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

This great question was asked by a viewer in comment section. What happens when people ask you how exactly can you know your gender beyond general stereotypes? Often leading some feeling confused and uncertain about their identity. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

Have you ever caught yourself reverting to “old” ways of behaving, speaking, walking, or even thinking? This phenomenon happens often and tends to occur in mid or post transition. It is called learned programming and can make you feel doubts and insecurity.

If you desire to undergo gender transition, it can be difficult to know how to set goals. Especially when the end point seems impossible to achieve. Watch as I discuss ways you can set transition goals and how to keep your focus on upward trajectory.

It is challenging to come out to your partner. To anticipate their reaction and response. It is even more challenging when your partner puts forward and ultimatum! Watch as I discuss the truth behind ultimatums.

It is common to anticipate to feel a sense of relief after coming out to your partner. Hoping that you can now begin your transition with much needed support. Only to find yourself feel worse vs better. Watch as I discuss why this may happen.