Do you find yourself starting some elements of transition only to stop. Yo Yo’ing back and forth between hormones, hair removal, or even voice therapy. Similar to the way people yo yo dieting.

Now I know you may be wondering, “Wait a second, I already had my gender crisis!” And while you may have had a life long awareness of gender dysphoria, and it may even feel like gender crisis, there is a difference.

According to the research, there are five most common regrets of the dying. Out of those five, the one that tops the list is: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Living stealth aka not disclosing your transgender past, is a personal choice. Some people express increased anxiety living stealth post transition. Unsure why they feel anxiety given they have wrapped up transition in their lives.

Whether you are just exploring your gender, have started transition, or mid transition, there is a tendency to be hard on yourself. Thoughts such as “am I doing enough”, “should have started sooner, “ or “ it’s too late,”

It is inevitable to be surrounded by many voices. Many opinions. Many comments of others. After all, we don’t live in a vacuum and are daily bombarded by content and information. And while it is important to discern who you listen to and what feedback you take in, it is equally important to avoid taking in too much information.

It is inevitable to have various fears surrounding you as you consider gender transition. Even if you are already going through gender transition, fears are a common occurrence as you find your way to navigate the unknown waters. As a result of fears, you may be finding yourself in a “waiting phase.” A phase where you are at a standstill as you wait for fears to go away before you can take more steps forward.

As you go through transition, you may be giving off ambivalent signals to others around you. This may happen especially if you are feeling ambivalent yourself. The ambivalence toward others may make them feel in turn ambivalent about your gender identity. Watch as I discuss this in detail.

Sadly, dysphoria doesn’t care about you. Especially your health! And it will and does manifest as health issues and problems in your body. Ranging from high blood pressure to developing hair loss or gastronomical issues. While it can be hard to hear truth related to how dysphoria affects your health, it is necessary in order to acknowledge how much pain it causes you.

When misgendering happens, it is painful and frustrating to deal with. Especially when it takes place around people who are closest to you. Such as your parents, siblings, or your partners. The truth is, oftentimes your own behavior tends to enable loved ones to continue making mistakes.

Tension and fears are common pair present in gender transition. Oftentimes making it challenging for you to take first steps forward. It is also common to want to avoid tension and further prolonging your potential of making a progress. But what if the trick is actually to move toward tension and fear?

Imposter feelings are common when it comes to gender transition. Often, they may bring up feelings of unease or discomfort especially when you find yourself in new situations. This is often due to what’s known as “the zone of comfort and discomfort.” Watch as I explain this more in detail.

Acceptance may sound an easy thing to accomplish and yet it continuous to be a confusing and elusive concept. In transgender community, we often speak of acceptance of your trans identity but what exactly does it really mean to accept who you are? And just how important acceptance is?

There is a period in gender transition when you feel like stuck in purgatory. A period of fear, discomfort, and unease. Being in that pocket of time can be very stressful and frustrating. Here are some tips on how to manage that time period.

How many of you are pushing against your transition? Maybe you are pushing against starting or maybe your push is against changes you do or do now want. Or perhaps your push is all about ending and starting new relationships. But what if “pushing” is just the wrong thing to do?

Some of you have a clear knowing of what surgery you want. And thats great. While others are more uncertain. The uncertainty primarily stems from not knowing whether you want permanence of changes especially if you tend to be comfortable to oscillate between gender spectrums. As a result, making a decision when and what surgery to have is a challenge. In this video I share a few tips that can aid you in your decision process.

It is so common to engage in risk and benefit analysis. As humans, we are especially risk averse and tend to find ways to avoid it. And that’s exactly what you do when you engage in bargaining with yourself. What if my partner will leave me? What if my job will end? Will I ever pass? And on and on you go within your head space as you over analyze your situation. Watch as I discuss with you risks and benefits of over analyzing.

“What if I transition and I’ll be UGLY?!” Ouch. I hear this one all the time. From all types of people, genders, ages, and backgrounds. If I were to pin it, I’d say this is one of the biggest fears that holds you back from starting transition and living your life. Watch as I discuss why you feel this way and share a nuanced approach you can adapt to confront this challenge.

When changes happen quickly it is exciting and even euphoric as you experience them. But if the changes happen slowly or not at all, it feels very self defeating. As if there is something wrong with you. Or your body. Or maybe you start asking yourself if you are in fact transgender since the changes are not happening fast enough?